Editor's note: Objchina, our blogger from Nigeria, shares his top 9 things that foreigners should avoid doing in China while interacting with the Chinese in order to save them from "certain embarrassment and possibly even outright humiliation." What do you think about the list? Welome to join us for discussions.
编者按:来自尼日利亚的《中国日报》论坛博主Objchina与我们分享了9件外国人在中国不要做的事。在和中国人交往时,不要让中国人丢面子,不要开过激的玩笑。你是否有同样的看法?那就加入我们的讨论吧。
1. Never get upset in public
不要在公共场合发脾气
Public displays of anger are frowned upon by the Chinese and are most uncomfortable for them to deal with — especially if the people getting angry are foreign tourists, for example. This goes right along with making someone (usually the Chinese host) lose face, which you should avoid at all costs. The Chinese place a premium on group harmony, so foreigners should try to swallow hard, be polite, and cope privately.
在公共场合发脾气会招来中国人的不满,而且中国人不善于处理这种情况,尤其是在公共场合发脾气还是外国人。这会让其他人(通常是你的中国朋友)感到丢脸。因此,你要尽力避免在公共场合大吼大叫发脾气。中国人崇尚群体和谐,因此外国人应该要低调,要礼貌,要私下处理争端。
2. Never accept a compliment graciously
不要理所应当地接受表扬
You may find yourself at a loss for words when you compliment a Chinese host on a wonderful meal, and you get in response, "No, no,the food was really horrible." They expect you to say works like " mama huhu(马马虎虎)" or " Na li, Na li哪里哪里" whenever they tell you words like, "your Chinese is very good" while some will say, "your Chinese is very guda" (No, disrespect but just keeping it real).
These people aren't being nasty...just humble and polite. A little less boasting and fewer self-congratulatory remarks go a long waytowards scoring cultural sensitivity points with the Chinese.
当你赞美中国朋友厨艺精湛时,在听到中国人的回答“不,不,我做的饭挺难吃”时,一定感到困惑。中国人对你说“你的中文很guda(这样说没有任何的鄙视之意,只是保持中国人真正的发音而已)”,他们希望你的回答是“mama huhu(马马虎虎)或者Na li, Na li(哪里哪里)”。
他们并不是难相处,而只是过分谦虚而已。少一点自夸自擂能让你与中国人保持更长久的关系。
3. Never address people by their first names first
不要一开始就用中国人的名叫他们
Chinese people have first and last names like everyone else. However, in China, the last name always comes first. The family (and thecollective in general) always takes precedence over the individual. For example, my Chinese name is L? Míng, assuming I am a Chinese, you can safely refer to me as Mr. L? (not Mr. Míng).
Unlike people in the West, the Chinese don't feel very comfortable calling each other by their first names. Only family members and a few close friends ever refer to the man above, for example, as simply "Míng." They may, however, add the prefix lao (lao; old) or xiao(xiao; young) before the family name to show familiarity and closeness. Lao L? (Old L?).
像其他人一样,中国人的姓名包括姓和名。然而,中国人通常使用名。例如,假如我是中国人,中文名叫李明。保险起见,你可以叫我李先生(而不是李明)。
不像西方国家的人,中国人不习惯别人叫他们的姓。只有家人和关系非常铁的朋友才会只叫名,例如,“明”。然而,有时候中国人会在名前面加上修饰词老(老代表年长的意思)或小(小代表年轻的意思)来显示关系亲近。老李?(很老的李先生?)
4. Never make someone lose face
别让中国人丢面子
The worst thing you can possibly do to Chinese acquaintances is publicly humiliate or otherwise embarrass them. Doing so makes them lose face. Don't point out a mistake in front of others or yell at someone.
The good news is that you can actually help someone gain face by complimenting them and giving credit where credit is due. Do this whenever the opportunity arises. Your graciousness is much appreciated. For example, "Give a round of applause for Laoshi, for giving us a wonderful lesson today," THEY LOVE THAT.
对于你的中国朋友,你最不该做的事就是在公共场合羞辱他们或者让他们感到尴尬,这样会让你的中国朋友丢面子。不要在其他人面前指出你朋友的错误,或者对你的朋友大吼大叫。
好消息是你可以通过自己的实际行动帮助朋友挽回面子。你的赞美之言,你的诚信意识都可以给你的朋友脸上增光。例如,“用热烈的掌声感谢老师今天给我们上了一节精彩的课”。中国人喜欢掌声。
5. Never let someone else pay the bill without fighting for it
不要静待他人买单
In the past, I was stunned the first time I witnessed the many fairly chaotic, noisy scenes at the end of a Chinese restaurant meal. The time to pay the bill has come and everyone is simply doing what they're expected to do — fight to be the one to pay it. The Chinese consider it good manners to vociferously and strenuously attempt to wrest the bill out of the very hands of whoever happens to have it. This may go on, back and forth, for a good few minutes, until someone "wins" and pays the bill. The gesture of being eager and willing to pay is always appreciated.
以前,当我第一次看到中国饭馆喧闹嘈杂的场面时,我惊呆了。买单时,每个人互相推攘,争相买单。中国人认为争着买单是一种优秀的行为。这个过程会持续几分钟,直到有人胜出付账。争着买单会得到他人的欣赏。
6. Never show up empty handed
不要空手串门
Gifts are exchanged frequently between the Chinese, and not just on special occasions. If you have dinner in someone's house to meet a prospective business partner or for any other pre-arranged meeting, both parties commonly exchange gifts as small tokens of friendship and good will. Westerners are often surprised at the number of gifts the Chinese hosts give. The general rule of thumb is to bring many little (gender non-specific) gifts when you travel to China. You never know when you'll meet someone who wants to present you with a special memento, so you should arrive with your own as well.
中国人经常互送礼物,不仅仅是在特别的场合。如果你要去中国人家里去见未来的商业伙伴或者去参加会议,双方通常会交换象征着友谊长存和美好祝愿的礼物。西方人在看到中国人送的礼物数量时都会惊呆的。当你到中国旅游时,一般的经验是带点儿小(不限性别)礼物。你不知道你将见到谁,不知道他是否会送你特别的礼物。所以,你去拜访他时也要带上礼物。
7. Never take the first "No, thank you" seriously
不要把中国人的第一次说的“不,谢谢”当真
Chinese people automatically refuse food or drinks several times — even if they really feel hungry or thirsty. Never take the first "No, thank you" literally. Even if they say it once or twice, offer it again. A good guest is supposed to refuse at least once, but a good host is also supposed to make the offer at least twice.
中国人即使真的很饿或者很渴,他们也会习惯性地拒绝别人的食物或者饮料好多次。永远不要把中国人第一次说的“不,谢谢”当真。一个有礼貌的客人至少要拒绝一次。但是一个好的主人应该至少询问客人两次。
8. Never accept food, drinks, or gifts without first refusing a few times
不要立刻接受别人给的食物、饮料或礼物
No self-respecting guests immediately accept whatever may be offered to them in someone's home. No matter how much they may beeager to accept the food, drink, or gift, proper Chinese etiquette prevents them from doing anything that makes them appear greedy or eager to receive it, so be sure to politely refuse a couple of times.
在别人家里,任何一个有自尊心的客人都不会立刻接受主人给的礼物。无论多么想要食物、饮料或者礼物,通常中国人的教养会让他们避免去做那些让他们看起来十分贪婪的事。因此,推让几次会被看作是有礼貌。
9. Never drink alcohol without first offering a toast
不要在祝酒前喝酒
Chinese banquets include eight to ten courses of food and plenty of alcohol. Sometimes you drink rice wine, and sometimes you drink industrial strength Máo Tái, known to put a foreigner or two under the table in no time. One way to slow the drinking is to observe Chinese etiquette by always offering a toast to the host or someone else at the table before taking a sip yourself. This not only prevents you from drinking too much too quickly, but also shows your gratitude toward the host and your regard for the other guests. If someone toasts you with a "gan bei!" you should accept it in a polite way.
"Gan bei" means "bottoms up, or drink all," and you may be expected to drink the whole drink rather quickly. Don't worry. You can always take just a little sip instead.
中国人的宴会会上8至10道菜,随后会上许多酒。有时你喝的是米酒,有时喝的是著名的茅台。茅台酒劲大,外国人很快就会喝醉。一个减缓喝醉的方法就是观察学习中国人的酒桌礼仪。中国人通常会向主人祝酒,而酒桌上的其他人只会啜饮一下。这不仅会放慢你喝酒的速度,也能显示你对主人以及酒桌上其他人的尊重。如果有人和你干杯,你应该起身与他干杯。
“干杯”指的是“喝完或者一饮而尽”。你应该一口气喝完杯子里所有的酒。别担心。通常情况下,你只需小口啜饮一下就行。